Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Essay Number 4


Boo Radley:
An Essay about This Mysterious Person
By: Gaelen Frink
Pine Point School
   October 11, 2010    
            Boo Radley is a very mysterious person, and just begging to be bothered by kids who are very adventurous. However, being adventurous can some times get you into trouble. For the kids in To Kill a Mockingbird, there is no end to their interest in the peculiar Boo Radley. How far can their interest go and not get in trouble?
            (TS)Is Scout, her brother and Dill violating Boo Radleys privacy, or are they just being kids and having some harmless fun? (SD)When Dill came to Maycomb County for his first summer, he expressed great interest in the Radley house. (CM1)This might be because he wants to know more about these mysterious people. (CM2) On the other hand, could it be that he just wants to bother Boo because he is an annoying or aggravating person? (SD)Scout and her brother want to find out more about Boo even though, "His father entered the room. As Mr. Radley passed by, Boo drove the scissors into his parent’s leg, pulled them out, wiped them on his pants, and resumed his activities." (CM1)They might interested in this person but, be too scared to even see him because whenever they pass by the house they run. (CM2)This character may be the creepiest one in the whole book, and probably the scariest. (CS)I wonder what will happen to the kids if Boo sees them snooping around his house, he might even do to them what he did to his father.
            When the kids in To Kill a Mockingbird try to find out about Boo, they treat him like a science project. The kids might be having some harmless fun, but there is a fine line of going too far. I think Boo is about to get very tired of these kids and break. This is a very peculiar character, and everybody needs his or her space.

1.Rereading my essays to find the mistakes.
2.Good Beginning and Concluding paragraph.
3.Not very good Participles
4.C+
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2 comments:

  1. AndrewOctober 7, 2010 at 5:01 PM

    Dear Gaelen,
    Great job on you paragraph about Boo Radley. I liked how you started you paragraph with a question. However, in your sentence, “On the other hand, could it be that he just wants to bother Boo because he is annoying or aggravating person.” I believe that you would need a question mark at the end since you are asking a question. Also, when you start you quotes, make sure to put a comma before your quotation marks. I do believe that your paragraphs are improving so keep up the good work!

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  2. jakeOctober 7, 2010 at 7:10 PM

    Gaelan,
    great essay. I really liked the unity of your essay, however I think your concluding sentence could have a little more funk. I often have the same probablem and find it very hard to make my concluding sentence interesting. I didn' see any punctuation errors. Great job!

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