Essay Number 8

Solitariao (Solitary):

Comparing Levels of Loneliness

An Essay by Gaelen Frink

Eighth Grade English

Pine Point School

November 18, 2010

            (TS) “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”- Mother Teresa. (SD) This feeling of being unloved was probably deep in Dill’s gut from the beginning. (SD) Dill was neglected from the start even though he should have been loved, a feeling that is showed by someone close to you.  (SD) Dill and I sometimes feel lonely even though we are around people.(CS) The feeling of being alone is one of the worst.
           (TS)When Dill’s new parents adopted him, they really did not want to spend time with him, and this made Dill very lonely, an outcast. (SD) When he was adopted he was excited, but now he is abandoned. (CM1) Parents have kids because they want to spend time with them, except in Dill’s case “they weren’t interested in [him].” (CM2) His parents think that since they bought him something he should go play with a toy or read a book instead of spending time with them. (SD) Furthermore, his dad said they would make a boat together, but they never did. (CM1) This boat they were going to make was going to be a fishing boat, but “He just said it. We never did.” and Dill was looking forward to this. (CM2) His new parents irritated him one degree too much and he ran away from home. (CS) Dill was lonely because he was ignored, and his parents did not really know him; his new parents were not “interested in [him].”
           (TS)Have you ever felt so lonely that you were friendless to a point where it felt like you were unloved?  (SD) While this could be happening to you, you perceive it as if you are being ignored. (CM1) You feel like no one wants to talk to you, and this makes you feel lonely. (CM2) Some people just want to ignore you because of who you are and what you do. (SD) Occasionally when you are at a party or a dance and you do not recognize anyone, you are often lonely. (CM1) This is because you may not know anyone at the party and you are shy, alone. (CM2) When you are supposed to be having fun at the party, you are feeling empty, even deserted. (CM3) Even though everybody around you is having fun, you are by yourself. (CS) I can be lonely sometimes because there is no one around me, but I never have any fun being so alone.
           (TS) “The most terrible poverty is loneliness”-Mother Teresa. (SD) This was true because being alone for Dill is like poverty for him. (SD) When Dill feels alone he feels it deep down because he hates that feeling of abandonment. (SD) I also do not like being alone but it takes a little while to get used to the feeling nobody likes. (CS)When I get that feeling that I do not like, I know that I must be feeling bad because that feeling is the worst, that is the feeling of loneliness.

Self Assessment

1. I need to keep working on making my sentences flow so that they can be read without stopping.

2. One strong point that I see in this piece of writing is that I used many fast words which help the piece.

3. I am continuing to work on rereading my work so that it flows smoother because I do not always catch all of the mistakes.

4. My grade could possibly be a B, because I think I have improved in a lot of areas on this piece and I had good use of fast and bell words.

Graphic Organizer for Essay Number 8

Outline for 4-Paragraph Essay

Main Point or Thesis of Essay Dill and his loneliness

Bell word Lonesome

Paragraph 1 -- Opening

Hook Have you have felt so alone even though  their are people around you?

Comment on the hook Dill feels this way with his new parents because he is with them but they do not spend time with him

Comment on the hook Have you ever thought there is no one that is as lonely and as Isolated as you?

Thesis (with bell word) Dill feels lonely even though he is around people

Paragraph 2

TS Dill feels lonely when he is around his parents

2 Echo words to be used   lonely            abandoned
SD Why is Dill feeling abandoned

        CM His parents don't want to spend time with him

        CM His parents think he should just play with his toys

Quote They weren't interested in me
 
SD Dill's dad said that they would make a boat

        CM They never made it

        CM Dill didn't come to Maycomb because of the boat

Quote He just said we would. We never did

CS Dill ran away because he just felt too lonely

Paragraph 3

TS Have you ever felt so lonely that you were friendless to a point of sadness

2 Echo words to be used friendless            empty

    SD Have you ever felt like people are ignoring you

        CM You feel like no one wants to talk to you and that makes you feel very lonely 

        CM Some people just want to ignore you

    SD When you are at places where you don't know anybody

        CM You usually don't have fun but be lonely

        CM This usually is at parties where you should be having fun

CS I can be lonely sometimes, but it is not any fun

Paragraph 4

Hook Have you have felt so alone even though  their are people around you?

Echo word Lonely

Comment on the hook This has happened to Dill

Comment on the hookI know it has happened to me

Re-statement of the thesisDill can be lonely sometimes just as i can be lonely too

Essay Number 7

Growing Up and Changing

An Essay About Jem and Me Growing Up

An Essay by Gaelen Frink

Eighth Grade English

Pine Point School

November 4, 2010

             (TS)Growing up is something you cannot control;you cannot control being short, just as you cannot control being tall. (SD) As you grow up your body starts to mature and grow just as your mind starts to mature and grow also. (CM1) Jem is starting to mature and this is weird for Scout because she has never seen her brother act like he is acting now. (CM2) As Jem grows up, he learns what to do and what not to do. (CM3)An example of this is when he tried to kill all of Mrs. Dubose's flowers. (CM4) Jem learned this the hard way and he had to pay for it by reading to Mrs. Dubose. (CM5) He also had to grow the plants to revive them and even though he lost it, he will never do what he did again because he knows the consequences. (SD) In addition, as Jem grows older, he starts to grow taller and larger and more respected; he also has a larger appetite because Scout thinks, "he's got a tapeworm" (CM1) As Jem grows, he is now "Mr. Jem" because he is old enough to bear the name because he is "gowin' up". (CM2) As Jem gains things, he also loses things from his past. (CM3) Jem will lose things, but he will accumulate new memories and fun times, but to gain things you have lose things first. (CM4) I can relate myself to Jem; I personally have noticed that I am starting to eat more at dinnertime-not just meat but vegetables too. (SD) In addition, as Jem is growing older, he is starting to become a lot wiser. (CM1) He seems to have an air around him where he bosses Scout around, and he once told Scout to "just hold your head high". (CM2) Scout does not like being bossed around by her older brother, even though sometimes he is right, who wants to listen to their older brother. (CM3) As Jem matures, Scout will slowly too because she will want to follow her brother. (CM4) I can relate myself to Scout because I am a younger brother, and I am constantly getting bossed around (CS) For Jem and me, growing up happens slowly at first then speeds up, but then the growing slowly decreases although you are done growing your knowledge is ever expanding.

Graphic Organizer for Essay Number 7

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: Growing Up

TS: Growing up is some thing you can't control, you can't control being tall and you can't control being short, because it is controlled by nature.

SD:As you grow up you mature

CM:Jem is maturing because he tells scout to hold her head high

CM:As you grow up you do not do as many stupid things

SD:As you get older you start to grow

CM:Jem is starting to grow taller and eat more

CM:Relation to my life

SD:As you get older you get smarter because of what you are learning

CM:Jem is learning about how to be a gentleman

CM:How it takes time to learn things, you do not learn all at one time 

CS: Growing up happens slow not only at one point