Viusit Number 2

Assessment Number Two

 A Paragraph by Gaelen Frink

Eighth Grade English

Pine Point School

December 20, 2010

            When I went to the shelter for lunch I met Richard, but everyone calls him Zig. When we got there tables were already set up. He said that it is one of the people's jobs who live at the WARM shelter. The lunch is usually donated by an restaurant like Subway, but the lunch today was subs, chips and pizza from Pizza Lady. It was my job to ask the people who come in what kind of sub they wanted and what type of chips they wanted. Zig said that if someone has a party and there is leftover food the food sometimes will be donated. Some of the people that came in to get food surprised me and some didn't. Some of the people looked like they had a job and looked like they weren't homeless, but some looked a little weather beaten. Their hair was wild and some were limping a little. Zig explained that he had to be a very flexible cooker because when he receives donations they are sometimes not enough so he has to quickly make more sandwiches or make a recipe that is easy and quick. The people want to eat when they get there, but they don't mind waiting a little bit if they are early though. At the soup kitchen I saw that homelessness can happen to anyone, you could lose your job or get behind on payments for rent or electricity.

Visit Number 1

Assessment Number One

 A Paragraph by Gaelen Frink

Eighth Grade English

Pine Point School

December 20, 2010

           
            (TS)On my first visit to the WARM shelter in Westerly I talked to Joy Cordio, who is the Volunteer Coordinator, she told me about how the WARM shelter works. She told me that there are two buildings, one of them is an administrative office and the other building is living quarters and the kitchen with an eating area. Nineteen people live at the warm shelter at one time, thirteen men and six women. While they are there they have to attend budget/money handling and literacy classes. The WARM shelter wants to expand because they received a grant for 1.3 million dollars, but they were denied the permits to build because the surrounding neighbors petitioned for the permits not to be given. They did this because of NIMBY, NIMBY stands for Not In My Back Yard. The neighbors think that with the renovations more homeless will be near the neighborhood and this could increase crime rate. Joy said that they appealed to a higher court and they were going to the next round. If they win that round they will break ground in March. When the renovations are complete there will be six-one bedroom apartments and two-two bedroom apartments.From just going to the Warm shelter I saw that people need help and this organization does the helping.

Essay Number 8

Solitariao (Solitary):

Comparing Levels of Loneliness

An Essay by Gaelen Frink

Eighth Grade English

Pine Point School

November 18, 2010

            (TS) “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”- Mother Teresa. (SD) This feeling of being unloved was probably deep in Dill’s gut from the beginning. (SD) Dill was neglected from the start even though he should have been loved, a feeling that is showed by someone close to you.  (SD) Dill and I sometimes feel lonely even though we are around people.(CS) The feeling of being alone is one of the worst.
           (TS)When Dill’s new parents adopted him, they really did not want to spend time with him, and this made Dill very lonely, an outcast. (SD) When he was adopted he was excited, but now he is abandoned. (CM1) Parents have kids because they want to spend time with them, except in Dill’s case “they weren’t interested in [him].” (CM2) His parents think that since they bought him something he should go play with a toy or read a book instead of spending time with them. (SD) Furthermore, his dad said they would make a boat together, but they never did. (CM1) This boat they were going to make was going to be a fishing boat, but “He just said it. We never did.” and Dill was looking forward to this. (CM2) His new parents irritated him one degree too much and he ran away from home. (CS) Dill was lonely because he was ignored, and his parents did not really know him; his new parents were not “interested in [him].”
           (TS)Have you ever felt so lonely that you were friendless to a point where it felt like you were unloved?  (SD) While this could be happening to you, you perceive it as if you are being ignored. (CM1) You feel like no one wants to talk to you, and this makes you feel lonely. (CM2) Some people just want to ignore you because of who you are and what you do. (SD) Occasionally when you are at a party or a dance and you do not recognize anyone, you are often lonely. (CM1) This is because you may not know anyone at the party and you are shy, alone. (CM2) When you are supposed to be having fun at the party, you are feeling empty, even deserted. (CM3) Even though everybody around you is having fun, you are by yourself. (CS) I can be lonely sometimes because there is no one around me, but I never have any fun being so alone.
           (TS) “The most terrible poverty is loneliness”-Mother Teresa. (SD) This was true because being alone for Dill is like poverty for him. (SD) When Dill feels alone he feels it deep down because he hates that feeling of abandonment. (SD) I also do not like being alone but it takes a little while to get used to the feeling nobody likes. (CS)When I get that feeling that I do not like, I know that I must be feeling bad because that feeling is the worst, that is the feeling of loneliness.

Self Assessment

1. I need to keep working on making my sentences flow so that they can be read without stopping.

2. One strong point that I see in this piece of writing is that I used many fast words which help the piece.

3. I am continuing to work on rereading my work so that it flows smoother because I do not always catch all of the mistakes.

4. My grade could possibly be a B, because I think I have improved in a lot of areas on this piece and I had good use of fast and bell words.

Graphic Organizer for Essay Number 8

Outline for 4-Paragraph Essay

Main Point or Thesis of Essay Dill and his loneliness

Bell word Lonesome

Paragraph 1 -- Opening

Hook Have you have felt so alone even though  their are people around you?

Comment on the hook Dill feels this way with his new parents because he is with them but they do not spend time with him

Comment on the hook Have you ever thought there is no one that is as lonely and as Isolated as you?

Thesis (with bell word) Dill feels lonely even though he is around people

Paragraph 2

TS Dill feels lonely when he is around his parents

2 Echo words to be used   lonely            abandoned
SD Why is Dill feeling abandoned

        CM His parents don't want to spend time with him

        CM His parents think he should just play with his toys

Quote They weren't interested in me
 
SD Dill's dad said that they would make a boat

        CM They never made it

        CM Dill didn't come to Maycomb because of the boat

Quote He just said we would. We never did

CS Dill ran away because he just felt too lonely

Paragraph 3

TS Have you ever felt so lonely that you were friendless to a point of sadness

2 Echo words to be used friendless            empty

    SD Have you ever felt like people are ignoring you

        CM You feel like no one wants to talk to you and that makes you feel very lonely 

        CM Some people just want to ignore you

    SD When you are at places where you don't know anybody

        CM You usually don't have fun but be lonely

        CM This usually is at parties where you should be having fun

CS I can be lonely sometimes, but it is not any fun

Paragraph 4

Hook Have you have felt so alone even though  their are people around you?

Echo word Lonely

Comment on the hook This has happened to Dill

Comment on the hookI know it has happened to me

Re-statement of the thesisDill can be lonely sometimes just as i can be lonely too

Essay Number 7

Growing Up and Changing

An Essay About Jem and Me Growing Up

An Essay by Gaelen Frink

Eighth Grade English

Pine Point School

November 4, 2010

             (TS)Growing up is something you cannot control;you cannot control being short, just as you cannot control being tall. (SD) As you grow up your body starts to mature and grow just as your mind starts to mature and grow also. (CM1) Jem is starting to mature and this is weird for Scout because she has never seen her brother act like he is acting now. (CM2) As Jem grows up, he learns what to do and what not to do. (CM3)An example of this is when he tried to kill all of Mrs. Dubose's flowers. (CM4) Jem learned this the hard way and he had to pay for it by reading to Mrs. Dubose. (CM5) He also had to grow the plants to revive them and even though he lost it, he will never do what he did again because he knows the consequences. (SD) In addition, as Jem grows older, he starts to grow taller and larger and more respected; he also has a larger appetite because Scout thinks, "he's got a tapeworm" (CM1) As Jem grows, he is now "Mr. Jem" because he is old enough to bear the name because he is "gowin' up". (CM2) As Jem gains things, he also loses things from his past. (CM3) Jem will lose things, but he will accumulate new memories and fun times, but to gain things you have lose things first. (CM4) I can relate myself to Jem; I personally have noticed that I am starting to eat more at dinnertime-not just meat but vegetables too. (SD) In addition, as Jem is growing older, he is starting to become a lot wiser. (CM1) He seems to have an air around him where he bosses Scout around, and he once told Scout to "just hold your head high". (CM2) Scout does not like being bossed around by her older brother, even though sometimes he is right, who wants to listen to their older brother. (CM3) As Jem matures, Scout will slowly too because she will want to follow her brother. (CM4) I can relate myself to Scout because I am a younger brother, and I am constantly getting bossed around (CS) For Jem and me, growing up happens slowly at first then speeds up, but then the growing slowly decreases although you are done growing your knowledge is ever expanding.

Graphic Organizer for Essay Number 7

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: Growing Up

TS: Growing up is some thing you can't control, you can't control being tall and you can't control being short, because it is controlled by nature.

SD:As you grow up you mature

CM:Jem is maturing because he tells scout to hold her head high

CM:As you grow up you do not do as many stupid things

SD:As you get older you start to grow

CM:Jem is starting to grow taller and eat more

CM:Relation to my life

SD:As you get older you get smarter because of what you are learning

CM:Jem is learning about how to be a gentleman

CM:How it takes time to learn things, you do not learn all at one time 

CS: Growing up happens slow not only at one point

Essay Number 6

Shooting and Buying:

Surprises about a Parent

An Essay by Gaelen Frink

Eighth Grade English

Pine Point School

October 25, 2010

            (TS)Do you think that your parents are boring, but your parents have sides to them that you will never know about? (CM1) This is like in To Kill a Mockingbird when Jem and Scout see their dad shooting Tim Johnson because they find a side of their dad that is not "old". (CM2) This is also like my dad, when I found out he had enough money to buy a boat that costs $1450.00 in today's money I was totally astonished. (CS) These are the surprises about my dad and Atticus.
            (CM) Jem and Scout have always thought that their dad was old and does nothing fun but reads, but Jem and Scout see that they are very wrong. (SD) When Jem and Scout see Atticus going to take his shot at Tim Johnson, he "moved like an underwater swimmer". (CM1) To me this seems like time slowed down for Scout, as she saw her dad doing something that she never thought he would do. (CM2) When Atticus was going to take his shot at Tim Johnson, he moved in one smooth motion and fired. (CM3) For Jem, he was so shocked he was "paralyzed", and this is probably from being so astounded from his dad's actions. (SD)What Jem and Scout have learned from this experience, they will never forget. (CM1)When Atticus leaves, Miss Maudie tells Jem and Scout about how Atticus was "the deadest shot in Maycomb County". (CM2)When Miss Maudie is telling the kids about their dad, Jem is so awestruck that he can barely speak. (CS) When a dad of two kids find out that he is not who they think he is, his kids are very surprised.

          (TS) When my dad was 12, he was able to buy a boat that cost him $200; this surprised me because I never knew my dad had that much money when he was a kid. (SD) My dad was able to buy a boat when was 12 that costs $1450.00 in today’s money, that is a big accomplishment for a 12 year old. (CM1)I found out about my dads accomplishment because my dad still has the boat he bought 36 years ago. (CM2) I also know about my dad’s accomplishment because he always tells me about when he was younger he had a job at my age. (SD) Some things that I have learned from this story are these reasons. (CM1)First kids these days have things given to them more and they do not have to work to get them, but before kids had to work for things that they wanted. (CM2) The second thing I learned was to take care of the things that I have because the boat my dad still has his boat after 36 years. (CS) My dad is someone who I admire a lot for his hard work.

             (TS)Do you think that your parents are boring, but your parents have sides to them that you will never know about? (CM1) I now know that Atticus is not as old as a man as we thought, and it came out as a big surprise for Jem and Scout. (CM2) I also found out that my dad was a very hard worker when he was younger and he still is today. (CS) These are some things about Atticus and my dad that surprised me.

Graphic Organizer for Essay Number 6

Paragraph 1 -- Opening

Hook Do you think that your parents are totally boring because you can find out things about them you never knew

Comment on the hook When I thought of Atticus I thought he was old, but now I know he has a wild side

Comment on the hook When I thought of my dad I thought I knew everything

Thesis Something that I found out about Atticus or even my dad that surprised me

Paragraph 2

Jem and Scout find out about Atticus’s shooting ability

2 Echo words to be used bewilderment         shock

SD Jem and Scout see Atticus, “He moved like an underwater swimmer” then Atticus takes his shot

CM Jem and Scout see Atticus take the dog in one smooth motion

CM Jem was so amazed he was “paralyzed”

SD What has Jem learned

CM Jem has learned that his dad still has a wild side to him because he was “Ol’ One Shot”

CM Jem now has respect for Atticus

CS Now that Atticus showed his kids what he can do they won’t think he so old now

Paragraph 3

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis)When I found out that my dad was able to buy a row boat at 11

2 Echo words to be used astonishment           astoundment

SD learned about from dad’s childhood stories

CM Paper route and bought the boat with that money

CM Paper route

SD How kids back then did not have things given to them

CM My dad had to work a lot harder as a kid to get things that he wanted

CM My dad today is a very hard working person

CS My dad is a person that I admire a lot

Paragraph 4

Hook Do you think that your parents are totally boring because you can find out 

things about them you never knew

Echo word surprise

Comment on the hook I know that Atticus is not the old man

Comment on the hook My dad was a very hard worker and harder than how I work today

Re-statement Something about my dad and Atticus that just totally surprised me

3rd Freestyle Writing

When it comes to think of something to write about I can never think of anything so I need to be given a topic. I have writer's block. When you think of the title writer's block, what does it mean? Well writer's means well that you are a writer. I think block means that no thoughts are coming to you so they are being blocked from your mind. When I looked up writers block on Wikipedia it said, "Writer's block may have many or several causes. Some are essentially creative problems...A writer may run out of inspiration. “I think that this corresponds to me. I do not have much creativity. While other people have, tons of it and the words flow onto the paper. I can write but my words have no meaning, and when I do write, I write choppy and it does not flow. Writer's block affects me a lot.

Essay Number 5

Crying:

Happiness or Sadness

By: Gaelen Frink

Pine Point School

October 12, 2010

            (TS)Crying is sometimes sadness, and it can sometimes be happiness. (CM1)The tears I like to shed are the happy ones because I am not in pain or sad. (CM2)When Jem was crying I think it was because he was sad because one of the joys in his life was finding things in the knot-hole. (CM3) Tears are a thing that people do not like to see because it makes them sad too and even though Jem tried to cover up his crying, Scout could still tell. (CS)Crying is not much fun at all.
            (TS)Crying is something we all do not like doing because it is usually done while in pain or sadness, but sometimes it is done because of pure joy. (SD)I think Jem was crying because his knothole was filled up and he was never able to give the giver of their joy a thank you. (CM1)An example of this might be, "Jem was facing me when he looked up, and I saw him go stark white.", in this quotation it seems like the knot-hole means a lot to Jem, and like he has unfinished business here. (CM2)If Jem had been able to give the giver the note then maybe Jem would not have been crying. (SD)However, Jem might have been crying because of the thought of not getting anything else from the knothole. (CM1)For example, "From then on, we considered everything we found in the knothole our property.”, this means to me that they are look forward to finding things in their special spot. (CM2)However, now that it is filled with cement they cannot look forward to this and will not have a sense of excitement in their lives. (CS)Jem could be crying for some other reason, but this is what I think about Jem and him bursting into tears.
           (TS)Many people think that crying is not for men or boys because they are supposed to be strong enough not to cry, but many men cry and even more boys. My thoughts on crying are that it is okay to cry. (CM1)When someone cries people around him or her should not think that he is a baby or a weak person. (CM2)When someone is crying you do not always know why, and this person may be an emotional person. (SD)A memory I have of crying is of my mom. (CM1) When my mom was crying I did not know why, and I tried to comfort her, but I was only about nine at the time. (CM2) When my mom told me why she was crying I began crying too, and sometimes things are just so sad you cry. (CS)When I cry it is sometimes in pain or sadness but sometimes it is out of joy, crying and weeping are one of your body’s emotions.
            (TS)Even though crying is your body's natural way to clean your eyes, kids in To Kill a Mockingbird would rather be in a lot of agony than have someone see them cry. (CM1)When Jem was crying, he tried to cover it up with dirt because he probably thought he would be made fun of, but Scout was able to tell he had been crying. (CM2)When I cry I hope no one will be able to tell, but people always are able to. (CS)Jem's tears are a lesson to all of us that Jem still is a boy, and that he is not a man, so he has the right to cry.

1.Combining sentences to make smooth writing.
2.Good punctuation my sentences.
3.A little to repetitive with the word crying.
4.C+

Essay Number 4

Boo Radley:

An Essay about This Mysterious Person

By: Gaelen Frink

Pine Point School

   October 11, 2010    

            Boo Radley is a very mysterious person, and just begging to be bothered by kids who are very adventurous. However, being adventurous can some times get you into trouble. For the kids in To Kill a Mockingbird, there is no end to their interest in the peculiar Boo Radley. How far can their interest go and not get in trouble?
            (TS)Is Scout, her brother and Dill violating Boo Radleys privacy, or are they just being kids and having some harmless fun? (SD)When Dill came to Maycomb County for his first summer, he expressed great interest in the Radley house. (CM1)This might be because he wants to know more about these mysterious people. (CM2) On the other hand, could it be that he just wants to bother Boo because he is an annoying or aggravating person? (SD)Scout and her brother want to find out more about Boo even though, "His father entered the room. As Mr. Radley passed by, Boo drove the scissors into his parent’s leg, pulled them out, wiped them on his pants, and resumed his activities." (CM1)They might interested in this person but, be too scared to even see him because whenever they pass by the house they run. (CM2)This character may be the creepiest one in the whole book, and probably the scariest. (CS)I wonder what will happen to the kids if Boo sees them snooping around his house, he might even do to them what he did to his father.
            When the kids in To Kill a Mockingbird try to find out about Boo, they treat him like a science project. The kids might be having some harmless fun, but there is a fine line of going too far. I think Boo is about to get very tired of these kids and break. This is a very peculiar character, and everybody needs his or her space.

1.Rereading my essays to find the mistakes.
2.Good Beginning and Concluding paragraph.
3.Not very good Participles
4.C+

Essay Number 3

Metaphors:

A Metaphor on Myself
By: Gaelen Frink

Pine Point School

October 4, 2010

            When you compare yourself to something, the possibilities are endless. From mountains to rocks to forests, every person can find something to describe themselves. I am a river
            (TS) People can compare themselves to anything they think of. (SD) What I chose is I am like a river. (CM1) Whenever a river hits a rock or rapids, the water just goes over it. (CM2)This is like me because whenever I hit a roadblock in my life, I work to overcome it slowly, just as a river flows. (SD) In addition, when a river flows it changes the way the river looks and this can be like eroding the banks or taking rocks away to a different spot in the river, this can also be like me changing. (CM1) In my life this could be like losing friends, but new ones will come from upstream.(CM2)This also could be like when you go downstream you see the rocks that left you got stuck and you could meet them again, so, if you lose friends just remember you could meet them again. (SD) Also, a river may look boring and a seasoned river, but in the water there are fish and very interesting things. (CM1) This is like your personality. (CM2) Like in each river they are all different and no one person is the same.
            When I describe myself, I say I am a river. Someone may say that I am something different, but in many ways, I see myself as river.

Self Assessment

1. Combining sentences

2. Good punctuation

3. Not long enough conclusion/introduction

4.C+

Essay Number 2

Gaelen Frink Essay #2
English Class
September 22, 2010

Strangeness

My Thoughts on Myself

           When some people think of themselves, they think of themselves as cool or awesome. I can think like that, but instead I think of myself as strange or different. This is an essay about myself.  
            (TS) Some of friends say I am a very weird person, although I do not totally agree to this, my friends convinced me to write about myself. (SD) When I am sick, something unusual happens when I sneeze and blow my nose, it happens very loud. (CM1)When I once sneezed in the hallway, Mrs. Owen knew I was coming. (CM2) In addition, all my friends say my nose blowing is super loud, and it scares people who are not prepared for it.  (SD) Secondly, people say I have a very different laugh, and uncontrollable laugh. (CM1) This might be because I laugh many times at things that are not that funny. (CM2) One time, I was laughing so hard when I was eating, and I could not stop laughing, and while this was happening, I had food in my mouth, and you can just imagine what happened. (SD) Lastly, anybody who knows me knows I love food. (CM1) When we ran the mile for school, my first time of the year was about 10 minutes. (CM2) For the second mile of the year, I had a time of about 7:36 and the reason for the big improvement was Oreos, and this just proves how much I love food. (CS) I might be a little different in many ways; no, make that more than usual, but at least I am able to admit it.

Bizarre, or any other word or synonym that describes strange all remind me of myself. All of these words are related to strange. People sometimes might call someone weird, but that person may think it is a good thing. Whenever someone calls me weird I will say thank you and I know.

2nd Frestyle Writing

Gaelen Frink 
 When you think of fun, what do you think of? When I think of fun, I think of skiing. Skiing is something that I do every weekend in the winter. In addition, when I think of fun I think of the winter, because of all of the fun things you can do. I am not like one of those people who hate the cold I actually like the cold. The only cold I do not like is the very cold and when your toes go numb in your ski boots you ask yourself, "Why am I out here, am I nuts," but then you think of all the fun you have and how training pays off. When you ask yourself that question you know that only the people who really care about what they are doing are out there. When I also think of fun, I think of winning. This does not have to be winning a big event; this can be winning something small. You just know you finally won. That is the moment of triumph.

Essay Number 1

Gaelen Frink Essay 1
September 15, 2010
English Class

 Wake Me Up When September Ends:

A Song About Summer

Does anyone ever think about school when summer starts, because I know when summer started I was never thinking about the beginning of school. When we were assigned this essay, I knew that "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day was the perfect song for this assignment. These are my thoughts about the end of summer and the beginning of school
            (TS) The end of summer seemed to come so fast and it was so surprising when it came and I knew that "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day was the perfect song. (SD) In "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day the lead singer says, "Summer has come and passed." (CM1) To me this is like when we're in school it still seems like summer even though we're in school. (CM2) In addition, in this phrase it seems like to the person who wrote this song their summer went by way too fast. This is like my summer. (SD) Another phrase in this song is, "Wake me up when September ends." (CM1) This phrase to me reminds me of waking up every morning in the beginning of the school year, which is in September. (CM2) In addition, in September, we get back into the swing of things for all of our classes and at the end of September, this usually happens. (SD) Near the end of the song, there is the line, "Drenched in my pain again." (CM1) In the beginning of summer, we are usually drenched in memories of what happened last year over the summer. (CM2) Instead of being drenched in your painful memories, you are drenched in your happy ones at the beginning of the summer. (CS) Whenever I hear this song, it reminds me of the summers I have had before and that in turn reminds me of all my happy memories from past summers, but I also look forward to up coming summers.
            Whenever school starts, I always start looking forward to things that are coming up. I would never look forward to the next summer because that is too far away. Instead I look forward to skiing or a school sport, but in the back of my mind I am still thinking about it.

1. I am still working on remembering all my commas and punctuation.
2. I really liked my topic paragraph because i felt i said everything I was thinking.
3. A weak point could be my concluding paragraph because I might not of wrapped up my essay
right.
4. A-

1st Freestyle Writing

When you look outside when it is almost sunset you see the sky. When it is during the summer, you see some beautiful sunsets. Right now though, the sky is a dark gray, but the clouds that are out now have a little bit of orange red light on them from the sun, which is setting very quickly. Also outside are the trees, which are swaying so much from the winds outside. On those trees, are the leaves that changed color a bit premature, and they are clinging on every so tightly so they do not blow off in the breeze. Already, the sky has darkened to a very dark and it looks very intimidating. The things that I was able to see before I cannot see even though little time has passed; all I can see are their silhouettes. Everything outside seems like fall, the weather, the trees, and the wind, all these things remind me all the falls we have had before. Soon the weather will start to get colder, and we will be into the winter months, and we will have snow on the ground and everything we do will be different.